Reflections

Control

People and all this need need for control! Submit to your husband so you can control him; love your wife so you can control her. Control. Control. Control. So hungry to control a whole human being that you did not create. You have not finished controlling yourself, you want to control a whole dear adult whom you forget has lived and experienced a WHOLE life before he or she ever met you! Dear writer of this piece of foolery, how can you even think that a wife submitting to her husband will give her the right or ability to control him? Is he a piece of machine… a robot, some senseless, mindless piece of article that was made for her to control? When did she become a witch that she must now seek to want to control her husband through any means, manipulating him through submission at that? What’s wrong with you?! If she submits to her husband, please let her do so for her own peace and salvation- because the Lord God commanded her to do so; NOT to control him. Dear sisters, Please let your husbands be controlled by their numero uno maker: Christ ALONE! ; only then can you have the peace and joy you seek, as Christ fulfills his purpose for him and through him. And please dear brothers, don’t go to an early grave trying to control and manipulate your wife. Seek Christ. Love her as commanded by Christ and let him do the handling and controlling. Dear husband and wife, you already have more than enough on your plate trying to sort out your own flawed self, don’t add more palava to it

A word(or many) is enough for the wise.

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Seven life lessons I’d love to share

1. In everything, give thanks. Because, it could have been worse

2. Know and respect boundaries. The tongue and the teeth belong in the same mouth. But what happens when teeth cells grow in the tongue or when tongue cells grow in the teeth? It’ll be called cancer. If the parts of the mouth knows its boundaries and respects its( as close as its parts are) you should respect your boundaries with others, regardless of how close you are. Spouses take note!

3. Have low to zero expectations. Why? So as to avoid being disappointed later on. Zero expectations helps you to be more humble, have zero entitlement mentality( which is a form of pride) and helps you to be appreciative when people bless you or help you. Your only expectation should be from your maker.

4. If you are in a position of leadership or authority, watch yourself closely. Why? Because leadership automatically puts you in a pedestal. The problem with pedestals is that when you fall from it, your hurt will be much more compared to those who are not placed so high. Clothe yourself with humility, be sure to admit to mistakes; and be sure you are open to feedback from those you lead; be sure to remove the sycophants from your circle ( people who never challenge what you say, who will praise you and call you God) they are the ones that will ultimately kill you by setting you up.

5. Don’t seek and depend men’s praise. When they reject you( and they will eventually) it will destroy you

6. Be down to earth. Don’t claim to be or have something you’re not. Announcing yourself before you’re due will ALWAYS get you in a lot of trouble. Stay humble and mind your business.

7. Lastly, acknowledge the Lord in all you do- Even when you feel you know the way, acknowledge him to direct your path

So these are some major life lessons I have been privileged to learn. Hope it helps you to avoid some of life’s major pitfalls. Have a great Thanksgiving

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FALLING….

Coming out again, briefly, from hibernation to share a truth of mine, and it’s simply this, that eleven years ago, I knew what it meant to fall in love.

I’d heard of the phrase, falling in love,  several times; had even read about it in romance books ( wink 😉) , and even fancied myself several times to be in love. When my husband and I started dating, I used to tell myself, and truly I believed that I had “fallen” in love with him. And while it was and is true that I loved him when I dated, and very much still love him, the truth is that I grew to love him, and to love him deeply. And he grew to love me, and to love me deeply with his very life. We all grow to love our spouses and we grow to love our friends, and we  grow to love our jobs, and we grow to love our careers, etcetera. But to fall in love? That’s a different matter, and I did not realize what it meant to fall, FLAT ON YOUR FACE KIND OF LOVE UNTIL 11 YEARS AGO. I had no idea about this until I held my first child; the moment I had my first child, something very strange happened to me. I fell!!!!! I fell hard, head over heels, and deeply in love for the very, very first time.

The first time I held my son, and subsequently, my daughters in my arms for the first time, looking at their innocent faces, so vulnerable, I began to understand what it meant to fall in love, which is, that no hell, no heaven, no devil, not even me, could stand in my way when it came to protecting these ones. The funny thing is, my husband felt that way too when he met our children for the very first time in the delivery room. I remember him bursting into tears the first time he held our son – the sheer joy, at seeing his own, there are no words to describe it. And when he also held our daughters – that look of pure undiluted love – there’s no way I can describe that too. Now, this is not to mean that my husband loved and loves his children more than me; and it’s not to mean that I love my children more than my husband; it’s just that, the love that a parent has for a child, it’s just different. It’s not like anything you’ve ever known; It’s good. It’s nothing you can describe in words, and every parent  will be able to attest to what I am saying. As an adult, there are certain things you can deny yourself, but when it comes to the needs of your children, you are ready to do anything to meet their needs, regardless of how silly, or how inconsequential that need may be.

So that, in a nutshell, is what I mean by falling in love. The love you have for someone so much that you are ready to lay down your very life for their comfort regardless of if they have been good or bad; the love you have for someone who has not even done anything to deserve it in the first place; The love you show to someone that is imperfect but whom in your eyes is the most perfect person in the world; it’s the love parents have for their children, and it’s the kind of love our heavenly father has for us. That passionate, over the top, affection that no hell, no heaven, no power, no prinicipality, not even YOU can ever stop.

And I strongly believe that one of the reasons God makes us have children, one of the reasons he makes us experience parenthood, is so that we can have a taste of how much he loves us too. Because you suddenly realize that if you can love your children the way you do, then how much more will God, our heavenly father, the perfect father love us too.

So today, I encourage you: Please calm down and know you are loved. The next time you look at your children, and your heart quivers at just how much love you have for them, remember that that is just how much God loves you, and even much more. The next time you look at the interaction of a child with his or her parent, and you see the way that child looks at his or her parent with eyes full of wonder, and of love, and of trust IN their parent; in trust OF their parent, – because a child just knows that daddy and mommy will always have my back no matter what, remember that this is just how much more God wants us to trust him too. And funny thing is, parents fail. But the Heavenly Father, he never fails. Always faithful, even when we are faithless.

Lastly, wanted to share a video of my son, (He is taking piano classes),  and I singing one of my favorite songs, ‘you made a way.’ Hope you enjoy it, and remember, you are highly cherished.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Foluseye.akindebe%2Fvideos%2F10159896139615441%2F&show_text=0&width=560

 

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