Love is merely madness – Williams Shakespeare
When Loving becomes complicated – A snippet from Love at Dawn
She gave him a strained glance. “Because I don’t want to live this way anymore. I don’t want to keep hating you. It’s abnormal.”
“So what do you want, Tory?”
The question caught her off guard and she opened her mouth, but no words came.
He was studying her and Tory noticed for the first time how his eyes could quickly transition from dark brown to charcoal black, depending on the intensity of his emotions. Like right now.
Remembering the way he had kissed her at the cathedral, she held her breath as she made bold her request. “I want to know if you said those words to me because you truly hated me, or if you said them because you felt something else for me….like…like…something other than hate.” She stuttered lamely, unable to say the word ‘love’.
“You need to get your head out of those romance novels you read, Tory.” He replied, but his tone, howbeit gruff was soft and kind.
The manner in which he responded to her question encouraged her to prod a little further. “Do you feel something for me now? Are you attracted to me now?”
The response he made next was nothing she could have anticipated.
“You scare the crap out of me.” He stated.
Without slightest sound, he bent down his head in one fluid motion and kissed her, right there on her lips. Shocked, she lifted up her head to receive his mouth, which stayed on hers, patiently prodding her lips apart until he scored home and found the warmth of her. Heat matched heat, and all of the confusion she had about him only intensified in the power of his kiss. Softly…ardently, he claimed her so that she was purring with satisfaction. So skillful was he that she could have sworn she felt her blood turn to molten lava as he kissed her.
She found herself breaking away to catch a much needed breath, but even then, he seized her mouth again, refusing to let go of her, like his life depended on it. Her head was now resting against the headboard as Rashad continued feasting on her lips. She felt his big hands move over her chest, gently skimming from the base of her neck down to hover one of her breasts, and then the other. She thrust her chest out, seeking for him to claim her there where her nipples had now hardened in deepened arousal.
“Tory.” She heard him murmur brokenly as he deepened the kiss.
She could sense the battle taking place in his core as he fought the temptation to sink his teeth into the plump sweetness of her breasts. “Tory.” He murmured again, sounding helpless and powerless to resist her, even as she jerked up, her body throbbing with fiery passion, as memories of that first time with him assuaged her, memories of how he had claimed her for himself irrevocably. When he finally did free himself from her mouth, Tory noted with sheer joy the skilled manner in which his lips now travelled adroitly to her breast. Once there, he seemed too frozen to continue.
Staring into her warm eyes, lit with the most blazing fervor he had ever seen on a woman, he murmured softly, “I warned you to stay away from me. Remember?”
She blinked back in confusion, as she struggled to come out of the daze of his kisses. A strange soft moan escaped her as reality gradually returned back to her beleaguered senses.
Tory felt, rather than saw Rashad move slightly, bringing her head to rest on his hard pounding chest.
“I want you Rashad.” She now heard herself say. “I can’t stop wanting you in spite of all that has happened between us.”
Once again, he settled his mouth on hers’, but this time quickly travelling down to her breasts and playing with one mound and then, another with his skillful mouth. When her nipples hardened even further under his soft manipulations, almost poking out from the blouse she had worn to bed, Rashad groaned and knew that if he did not stop now, he would do the damnable, hating himself all over again. He stopped abruptly, despite her protesting moans.
“Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.” She pleaded.
“I am not good enough for you,” was his smothered reply.
“I want you Rashad.” She repeated.
“And I am not good enough for you, Tory.” He repeated. “True, I have my insecurities and I find that my feelings of inadequacy worsen when I’m with you.”
A harsh laugh escaped her. “You are not stopping me from wanting you. I love-”
Before she could make a bigger fool of herself, he cut her short quickly, his demeanor resolute. “Let it go, Tory. Just let it go.” It was an insistent plea, and when Tory looked into his eyes, she saw the fear in the depth of them.
“I am not good for you. You deserve better.”
With that said, Tory found herself nodding, agreeing with his argument for now.