Finding Love in spite of a Dark Past

As a nurse actively caring for people dealing with life’s major crisis, it’s inevitable not to be exposed to matters of the heart.

For example, a couple of years ago, I’d managed the care of an attractive woman in her 20’s called Rachael (not real name).She had been diagnosed with Hepatitis C some few years back and had come to the hospital to have a major surgery that was related to another condition. Her boyfriend, (let’s call him Sam) came along to be her major support system. Now, Sam wasn’t aware that Rachael had been diagnosed with Hepatitis. According to Rachael, there wasn’t any reason for Sam to know since they hadn’t had sex …yet. From my conversation with her, I understand that she wanted to cross that bridge of telling him about her disease once the issue of them having sex together came into the picture.

One of the instructions that Nursing educators drill into every Student Nurse is the need to keep and protect a patient’s privacy.  The rule is that you never, ever, ever share information about your patient with anybody and that includes spouses, parents, children etcetera, except if the patient gives you that permission to share.  And this not only applies to nurses, but to all professions in the health care industry. In the US, breaking this rule can result in some very dire consequences, including the loss of your professional license, heavy fines that run up to the millions and even jail time. Since I strongly abide by that code of ethics for nurses, I couldn’t help wonder what Sam would do the moment he found out that Rachael had hepatitis. Would he still want her? From the short interaction I’d had with Rachael and Sam, I could tell that Sam doted much on Rachael. He was always so concerned for her and was big on encouraging her to get better after the surgery. In fact, he’d flown in from New York (Not real city) to come stay with her in Texas where she’d had her surgery.

Two years later, I still wonder about Sam and Rachael.  I know that it’s a pretty much steep price to pay – the price to be with someone who has an unpleasant past such as an incurable STD.  In happily-ever-afters like the romance novels that I write, Sam and Rachael would work out just fine. Take for example Tory, my heroine in Love at Dawn has a terrible secret that she’s keeping away from her family and most importantly from Rashad, the man she fell in love with when she was a child.  In the end, Rashad is able to deal with Tory’s dark secret. In real life, I believe (and have actually seen) lovers puting aside all negativity and sticking to each other in spite of ‘whatever’.

I hear someone say, “But for goodness sake, not with a condition like Hepatitis.” But you know what, I still believe it is possible even with hepatitis.  Maybe it’s because I have my head so high up in the butt of optimism. And if this is the case, I’m going to have to say that I actually like Optimism’s butt. It’s a nice place to keep one’s head; a cushion for that belief that even people who are deemed unlovable and un-romancable can and do find love regardless of distasteful histories.

Categories: Blog | Tags: , , , | 10 Comments

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10 thoughts on “Finding Love in spite of a Dark Past

  1. Hmm, LD,

    It’s a tough one but love can indeed overcome all. I do hope ‘Sam’ and ‘Rachael’ were able to get past the issue and stay together.

    • It’s a dicey situation Nkem. But I’m thinking partners in some, if not most relationships do have baggage that they are carrying. Yes it may not be as controversial as having a STD, but the understanding that no one is perfect sometimes helps the other partner in accepting and moving past such issues.

  2. The whole point of love is that it is unconditional. We all have a past. We all have baggage. To truly love is to see the potential, to see the future, despite the past.

    • Dear Kiru, I like how you say that, “To truly love is to see the potential…the future, despite the past. ” Besides, who in this world doesn’t have baggage? And if they don’t have it yet, then they’re fixing to get one pretty soon….such is life.

  3. In most cases:
    it is not whether the two people in love can overlook ‘past transgressions’ and move on…….

    It is often the case that their friends/ family members wont let them

    • NIL, I agree with you 100percent. You bring up a very valid point about families/friends…and while sometimes the influence of family is advantageous in terms of helping us make the right choices in life, other times they could be quite detrimental especially when it comes to our relationships. The influence of family is even more pronounced in certain African cultures, say the yorubas (where I’m from, for example).

      • Dont worry, your stay in Optimism’s butt isnt for a long duration ..sic. If HIV- people are going on with marriage to HIV+ partners, then we can definitely overcome Hepatitis.
        I think the bigger taboo for partner and family is ‘the sexual history’ which led to the disease not the disease itself per se.

  4. Well done article that. I’ll make sure to use it wiesly.

  5. I’d have to check with you here. Which is not something I usually do! I enjoy reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!

  6. Epicondilitis

    You should take part in a contest for one of the best blogs on the web. I will recommend this site!

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